


Flowers Bloom When Another Wilts

by CaptumAvem



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Fade Demons, Fade Rifts, Fade Spirits, In the Fade, Modern Character in Thedas
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-11
Updated: 2020-02-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:07:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22662967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptumAvem/pseuds/CaptumAvem
Summary: I can't remember everything, but I know I was human, I had issues, and I had a body. Those memories are contradicted by the present I now am suffering. This shit is jarring and extremely annoying.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5





	1. Stumbling in the Quiet

The fade is supposed to be an alive place. It never sits still; spirits and demons don't just disappear. They die, sure, but not completely. They can come back as something new or different, but not dead, dead.

**This is the fade**

But what part? I never read the codexes, but I don't think they would tell me that some parts of the fade are dead and this area definitely is. 

It feels like this place has been hit with a pause button and the stagnant feeling from it is suffocating. Nothing is moving and I don't know how to deal with that yet. Not like I can fully anyways. 

I should feel fear in abundance, but I only have enough to know that I'm scared. It feels like everything I feel has been pushed down to the minimum it can be. I can feel, but not enough. I'm afraid of the implications that it might be the fade causing this, but it's the only explanation.

A small part of me is grateful that I can't feel as much, I don't think I could handle this normally. I would most likely have a psychotic break, sob uncontrollably, beg for mercy from whatever God I angered, and then inevitably curl in a ball and accept my fate. 

Okay, that thought actually made me even more grateful with whatever is causing this. I don't think I could do this otherwise, whatever this is. I'm not sure how I know I'm supposed to do something here, it's just a gut feeling. 

**He needs you.**

Yeah. I got that. Whoever that is.

  
  


XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

I'm not sure how long I've been here, but it feels like a long time. You know the saying, when you're having fun, time flies by, but when your stuck in the fade with no hope of escaping, it feels like fucking forever. 

Not to say there hasn't been some things to keep my mind busy to help cope. I've been able to think through the shitty things that happened in my life and figured out where everything went wrong. Who knew, all I needed to get over my many many flaws, was getting sucked into the worst part of the fade for all eternity. Woo. 

Other than finally figuring out I have been the worst human being imaginable, I also learned I don't currently have a body. So glad I can't feel as much, that would be a huge disaster if I could. Not to say I'm not feeling completely fucked up about it, but it's hard to be emotional when something is literally trying its hardest to stomp it down. 

**Good reasons**

Yeah. Yeah. I get it. No need to explain it to me- like you would anyways. 

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

~Tosss a coin to your witcher~

~~oh valley of plenty oh valley of plenty~~

~OoOoOooohh ~

I miss my voice. I used to hate it when I was on Earth. All I can do now is sing in my head and pretend I'm home. It wasn't much of a home, but it was better than here. Atleast, I could play a game or listen to a song, maybe even leave the house to get some food. Here is just never-ending life of nothingness. 

**You can change it.**

How?? Why haven't you told me this already?!? 

**I needed you to feel the quiet of the fade before bringing you into the loud.**

That… what? You could of helped me from the beginning, and you chose to wait?? Fuck you!!

**You would of hurt if I put you in the loud if I didn't put you the in quiet first.**

Get. Me. Out. Now.

**I will. Be ready. It will scare you.**

Nothing is scarier than my own thoughts, buddy.

**Now.**

Fina- WHAT THEFUCK


	2. Thorn In My Side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who the fuck is this? Oh... That's a little terrifying.

I've come to the conclusion, that for some reason, someone wants me to suffer. Like, really, really, suffer. No shortcuts on it. Just pure torture. 

How I've come to this conclusion? 

  
  


The fact that there is a  **fuckin'** **_demon,_ ** looking at me like I'm their next meal- there is also the fact I was thrown into the part of the fade that felt like the last layer of hell, but I digress. When I watched the demons onscreen, they were just inky looking creatures-some with fire, others were just pure muddy black; This is none of those things. 

Three-eyed, shark-like teeth protruding from what I can guess is there mouth, and it's whole body that can only be explained as pure nightmare fuel. Glass like shards, stabbed in its torso, covering everything. Blood is dripping from some of them and it has *enchanted with 200 intimidation*, written all over it. The worst, is the sound it makes. It sounds like a terror demon and despair demon had a baby. My mind buddy sure wasn't kidding, this shit is scary.

  
  


**I warned you.**

  
  


Yeah... yeah you did.

  
  


That reminds me. I had the idea I would start feeling more if I was out of that shit part of the fade, but it's still dimmed. Answers?

  
  


**It's becau-**

  
  


**_Hello, child._ **

  
  


Holy-fuck, who the fuck are you? How'd you get inside my head?

  
  


**_My name is Pain_ ** **_._ **

  
  


That doesn't answer how you're inside my head. 

  
  


**_I'm not inside your head, just at the door. You can hear me, I can hear you, but we are only speaking between your thin walls._ **

  
  


That sounds dirty.

**_…_ **

  
  


Sorry.

  
  


**_You seem to be an anomaly here. Not quite spirit- not centered in a pure purpose. Not quite a demon, either- you do not have the intent nor the power…_ **

  
  


**_What are you?_ **

  
  


Are you sure you're not a spirit of curiosity?, You seem to be just as nosey as one. How would you feel if I questioned you? On what you are?

  
  


**_It would please me. Few are brave enough to face me as my self._ **

  
  


Ah- welp. I can get why. You are a bit spooky.

  
  


**_You see and understand the thought that you are terrified of my form, but you can't truly fully feel it. You are uncomfortable, but not filled with fear like most. It's exhilarating._ **

The nightmarish demon began to creep closer to me. It's movement jostled the glass and it started to stab at its long limbs. Blood dripped, it winced with every step, but it carried on. If I was human and able to feel to my normal capacity- I would feel pity, so much pity. 

**_I may not hear all, but I can feel what little feelings you have. Stop it._ **

****

Sorry- can't help it. You look like you very existence is painful. I don't think I can feel anything else.

  
  


**_I am pain. That's the point. _ **

  
  


I kind of thought you would be causing pain, not be in it. 

  
  


**_I do not cause it. Nor do I wish to. I chose this for myself, but I do not revel in it. I know it's essential, for anything that comes in existence with the ability to feel. I wish to learn and understand what it does._ **

At the cost of your own comfort and self? What were you? Before this?

  
  


**_Who's being nosey now?_ **

  
  
  


Yeah. Yeah. I get it. I'm a hypocrite.

  
  


…

  
  


Hey- where's my older mind buddy? I don't know how I forgot they weren't here. Did you do that?

  
  


**_No, I believe it to be the cost of your lack of emotion. You did not become too worried nor affected by their loss, so your mind does not take in that the event of them being gone as necessarily bad nor important, so it simply passes your focus._ **

  
  


Why do I notice it now?

  
  


**_A simple passing thought._ **

  
  


Could you patch them to this line? They were about to explain why I can't feel.

  
  


**_No. They wouldn't want me here. I like talking to you._ **

  
  


Aren't you curious about the pain of the loss of something? Wouldn't this be something you would like to explore?

  
  


**_I dislike exploring pain, but push forward out of wanting to understand. This would be something I want to understand more than the pain of losing it._ **

  
  


Considering they haven't been able to connect themselves, but you can, that would mean you are a bit more powerful.

  
  


**_It's because I'm closer, it's easier. _ **

  
  


I'll… have your back?

  
  


**_You do not sound certain._ **

  
  


I will have your back. Better?

  
  
  


**_Yes. One moment._ **

  
  


**_Hmm…_ **

  
  


What?

  
  


**_I can't find them. _ **

  
  
  



End file.
